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Post by jeremy dale gallo on Nov 1, 2009 20:20:40 GMT -5
Jeremy laughed and looked over at her and smiled. Biting his lower lip he stood up for a minute and shut a couple of windows that were open. looking over at her he stuck his tongue out and smirked. Looking out the window the memory of his father almost stabbing him flashed in his mind. He got rid of it. Walking back over to Hannah he laid down next to her and lifted up her chin and kissed her lightly several times.
Pulling away he said "I thought I was moving to fast because of Tristan and all. i didn't want to rush you. Really. i hated that I thought I rushed my last girlfriend and such. It made me feel guilty and I am still talking." He laughed and kissed her again and than hugged her for a moment and pulled away. Looking at her he noticed that her make-up was a little smeared from the rain. He loved it.
He smiled a half smile when she said she didn't mind it on or off. Than he let out a soft moan when she ran her fingers across her chest. He took her by the shoulders and kissed her with a great passion he hadn't kissed any girl in a long time. Moving his hands down to her waist he stopped. He stopped now and than to breath,but kept kissing her. Not wanting to stop.
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Post by Hannah Nicole Allenburg on Nov 2, 2009 19:44:57 GMT -5
Hannah instantly smiled. "Really? You thought that I was mad because you were moving too fast? I'm glad your taking it this speed. As long as it's at a steady pace then we will have no problems." She smiled down at him. She hoped that she hadn't offended him making fun of his thoughts. She thought more about it and instantly regretted saying it. She kissed him back. Enjoying every second and taking it all in. She smiled into the kiss as usual. She had waited a whole a week for him to kiss her. If he wasn't going to do it she was going to. But now she obviously got her wish. And that single little kiss made her full of passion and happiness. She felt a tear roll down her face with him touching care even though she made fun of it earlier. But she wiped it away before she let go of him.
Hannah smiled when he moaned. She giggled at bit. When he kissed her again, she just let him enjoy it. As she kissed him back, she involuntarily wrapped her arms around his neck as she felt his hands on her waist. She let out a small moan too. She didn't mean for that to come out. That was meant for her head and thoughts. Too late now. She continued to kiss him and move her hands on his back and neck. Massaging him with every movement. She just hoped that she wouldn't get too carried away.
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Post by jeremy dale gallo on Nov 3, 2009 18:36:01 GMT -5
When she moaned it made him grin. That was about only the second moan he had ever gotten from a girl. Ever. He wouldn't consider it bad exactly, but he wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. Than she started to massage his back and neck. God, that felt amazing. Groaning her hands felt warm against his back. Kissing her more heavily he realized what he was doing and pulled away. Putt his hands on her shoulders he looked away and said "As much as I want it..I can't. This can't get to far." He bit his lower lip.
Looking at her the words of a song by Jesse McCartney played in his head I shouldn't love you, but I want you. I just can't turn away. I shouldn't see you, but I can't move. I can't look away. Staring at her he realized it was true. Kissing her lightly he put his forehead against hers and closed his eyes than opened them. Standing up he went to the next room and leaned against the wall and put his face in his hands and whispered "Got to way. God.." Biting his lower lip he closed his eyes and sung"
It's getting hard to be around you There's so much I can't say Do you want me to hide the feelings And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not 'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Sitting down he laid down on the cold ground. He did really want to do it with her, but he couldn't. Because if he did he would get attached all over again. He just couldn't. He just couldn't get attached. Not now. It was hard for him to explain. They loved each other right? Why was this so hard for him? Oh yeah. He found out his old girlfriend was shot.
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Post by Hannah Nicole Allenburg on Nov 3, 2009 18:46:25 GMT -5
Hannah felt him pull away. She instantly thought she did something wrong. But when he spoke and told her the truth she understood. She didn't want to move that far. Not yet at least. She understood where he was coming from. But then she thought. Wasn't she the one who a week ago watched her boyfriends dead body be wheeled out of the dorm? And he feels he's moving too fast? But she couldn't judge. She knew what he was going through. Which worried her deeply. Would this take more then 7 months to get over like Jeremy? And he sitll wasn't over it. So how long would it take then? She was so confused with the questions that popped up in her head every second.
She watched him walk into the other room. She scooted back to the wall and sat there with her knees pulled up to her chest. With her being in that position she reminded herself of the auditorium. She put her head on her knees as she waited for Jeremy to come back in. She hummed "misguided ghosts" by Paramore in her head. She smiled at how touching that song was. It really spoke to her. She waited patiently even though she never had that much patients to start with.
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Post by jeremy dale gallo on Nov 3, 2009 18:55:54 GMT -5
Jeremy took a deep breath and whispered to himself "Get yourself together. That was seven months ago. Come on. She was the one who just lost her boyfriend. Not you." Shaking out his hands he massaged his neck and walked back out and said "I am sorry, don't worry about me. I am fine." Biting his lower lip he walked up and kissed her lightly and sat next to her and crossed his legs and patted his lap and asked "Would you like to sit down on a more comfterble seat miss?" He smiled.
Giggling to himself he reached in his back pocket and he felt something back there. Turning his head he turned to see what it was. A condom. Slipping it back in he just looked at her. His cheeks bright red. Why the hell did he put that in there? When did he put that in there? He than flashed back to a few nights ago. What happened exactly? He remembered a guy named Doven than...nothing. He shook his head and knew he would think of it later. looking at Hannah he smiled again and flipped his hair so it would be out of his eyes and smiled again at her.
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Post by Hannah Nicole Allenburg on Nov 3, 2009 19:24:39 GMT -5
Hannah looked at him as he re-entered the room. She smiled when he said that she didn't have to worry about him. But worry was the only thing that filled her eyes. She kissed him back lightly and then smiled at him. "And what would be more comfortable then sitting on a wooden floor next to you?" She smiled at him. She laid down with her head in his lap. She looked up at him. She loved his eyes. They were beautiful. She looked up at him and very goofy like she said "I like your eyes." She smiled and giggled.
Hannah felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She took it out and looked what it was. It was her mom reminding her that she had a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Rolling her eyes she replied and put the phone away. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. She scratched her head and closed her eyes.
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Post by jeremy dale gallo on Nov 4, 2009 6:33:19 GMT -5
Jeremy laughed when she said that she liked his eyes. Smiling he said "Why thank you." Leaning his head against the wood he put a hand on Hannah's head and started to stroke her hair. It felt nice even to him. Letting out a long sigh he opened his eyes and smiled at her. He kissed her lightly on the head and whispered "I love you.." Smiling to himself he sat straight back up and kept stroking her hair he said "I can stop doing that if you want." He put his hand up away from her hair about three inches.
Hearing his own phone buzz he pulled it out of his pocket and saw it was a text message from someone he didn't know. Said he needed to come pick up his crap he left at the bar a few days ago.. Oh yeah he remembered that. The nice beer, nice guy named Doven, pink drink, and he started to make out with Doven. Hold on. Back up. He now just remembered he did it with a guy. Aw shit. How could he tell Hannah? He couldn't could he. He groaned and put his face in his hands. He hated keeping secrets and he was keeping a mega one from Hannah. Right. This. Moment. God, why couldn't he NOT of remembered? Well, it would be hard to forget something like THAT. He shook his head.
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Post by Hannah Nicole Allenburg on Nov 8, 2009 12:57:56 GMT -5
Hannah smiled at him and kissed his cheek. She just smiled when he told her that he could stop. but she didn't want him to. The more he did it the more she was in a happier mood. Hannah figured she would get this over with. She sat up in front of him and pulled him in to kiss her. She gasped and opened her mouth. Her toungue colided with his. She loved this it felt so good. Something she couldn't explain but yet she could. It made no sense but she just felt a chill go up her spine as she continued to kiss him.
All her feelings and emotions for him just settled into one kiss. His lips were warm, moist, and most of all soft. She could smell the scent coming off of him. She smiled in the kiss. She just couldn't help herself. She put her arms around his neck and clicked her hands together. She smiled again and just kissed him like she wound never get to again in her life. All the feeling jumbled up inside of her came to her mouth and into his. it was like an electric current and she didn't want it to end.
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Post by jeremy dale gallo on Nov 8, 2009 13:15:34 GMT -5
Jeremy smiled when hannah started to kiss him. putting his left hand behind her head he closed his eyes and kept kissing him. Groaning his eyes jolted open when their tounges collided. His body started to shake a little bit. It was out of nervousness and pure memory flooding back to him all at once. Pulling away he groaned and put his face in his hands and said "Damn Doven...I just.." Looking at Hannah he pushed her lightly off of his lap and took his hands in hers and said "I have to tell you something..important.." Biting his lower lip he looked at her his eyes wide. Letting go of her hands he stood up.
Pacing the room back and forth he said "Hannah, I went to the bar a few days ago and I was bored and lonley. I didn't have a ton of friends besides you you know? Anyway I just uh.." He laughed shakily and said "huh, funny thing is I had this drink that was pink you know? The good kind. It was really, really good and delicious. Than this guy named Doven came up and we started talking and I had like three drinks. It was really, really strong too...." He laughed shakily again and said "And well...we..kinda..I kinda went to his place and we sorta...did it." He laughed shakily again and prayed Hannah wouldn't get mad. He just hoped...
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Post by Hannah Nicole Allenburg on Nov 8, 2009 13:29:10 GMT -5
Hannah was shocked that he pushed her away. It made her a little sad. Was she not suppost to do that? She sat there on the wall and watched him. Her blank expression soon turned to complete and utter anger. He had sex with another man? She couldn't explain what she was feeling at that moment. She stood up and crossed her arms to show him that she was very mad at her. She made a stance that showed him that a tidal wave was heading his wave. Or as Dane Cook had said "Driven into Fuckville" And that was exactly what he was heading towards.
Hannah glared at him and said softly but hearing the anger in her voice "And would you mind explaining to me why in the hell you didn't say ANYTHING to me about this earlier? Before I realized I was in love with you?! Luckily she didn't yell but her voice cracked a few times as she held the screams back. The not including when she just told him that she was in love with him. She started pacing and scrathing her head thinking that she was a total idiot "And you think that by telling me you had some drink as an excuse? Maybe you should get this thing called common sense! This time she screamed.
She yelled that last comment very loudly. It was that type of situation where the echo could have been heard in space and she didn't even care. Nothing would make her more angry right now. Just as she had found someone who would always be loyal to her. Like that didn't throw down her trust even more.
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Post by jeremy dale gallo on Nov 8, 2009 15:45:34 GMT -5
Jeremy flinched at the screams. He could tell he was in deep crap at the moment. Biting his lower lip he looked away from her. He clenched his fists and he just wanted to curl in a ball just to escape her. Maybe he could make a break for it. Looking up and around he realized that really wasn't an option. He didn't want to get in any deeper crap than he already was. He could tell he was fuckville at the moment and he didn't really enjoy it. Shaking a little bit he looked up at her. His eyes showing he was full of apology. He didn't want this to happen.
He felt tears stain his eyes. He hated that Hannah was screaming at him like this. He didn't want this to happen. Hell this was the LAST thing he wanted to happen. "Hannah I am sorry. I really am. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't realized what happened until you were kissing me.." Shit. Wrong thing to say. Biting his lower lip he whispered "I didn't.." He stopped. She said common sense? He HAD common sense. Glaring he said "You are telling ME to get common sense? I have common sense! There is this thing called being DRUNK! You have no idea what the hell you are DOING when you are DRUNK. Alright? You don't konw what the fuck is happening. You just say stuff and do stuff you regret." Biting his lower lip he said again quietly "Well, since you are screaming at me than I best come out and say I am bisexual now Hannah. I actually DID enjoy it..." Smiling at her he bit his lower lip.
He looked at her and said "Plus the only reason I WENT to the bar was because your boyfriend scared the shit out of me! If he didn't haunt you the whole damn time we wouldn't be in this mess hmm?" His asshole sign was coming out. Walking near her he lifted her up by the collar and yelled "SO DON'T YOU BLAME ME FOR ANYTHING. I CAN blame the drinks. I really can. Because they were strong. Really strong. So I regret making out with him in public, but when it comes to the bedroom. Let us just say I didn't hate it." He realized he was still holding her up and he let go of her collar and dropped her on the ground and glared at her. He bit his lower lip.
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Post by Hannah Nicole Allenburg on Nov 8, 2009 16:29:45 GMT -5
WARNING! very long post! :3 Hannah's expression went blank as he faught back. This didn't surprise her but she was surprised about the words he was saying. she neve thought he could talk to someone like that, much less Hannah. Hannah just stood there motionless. She couldn't even think or speak. All she could do was listen and watch. She could hear his apologys from ever corner. she could feel tears coming up into her eyes and she could see his tears as well. As she recalled, Tristan was the only guy she had seen crying in her life that was over 10 years old. At the moment she regretted what she had said. And she realized right then that he was....right.
She felt so horrible. She felt dead. She just wanted to die. Right then and there. Maybe this was what Tristan felt. She just wanted to slit her throat open and leave it all alone. She just wanted to escape somewhere where she could stop fighting. All memory from her last fight was Tristan rushed in her head. She yelled at shock, he yelled back, she yelled back then left, she comes back to find him dead. That was the way it happened and without even controling herself she slumped on the floor. She was weak and couldn't hold herself anymore. If she continued to push herself she would end up like Tristan.
Hannah felt him pick her up. "What the hell!" She felt herself drop on the floor she picked herself back up and didn't think about it but slapped him right across the face. Hard enough it would most likely bruise. She stared at him and yelled "NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I DONE THAT TO A SINGLE HUMAN BEING. I HAVE NEVER YELLED MORE IN MY LIFE. TRISTAN WAS ONE THING NOW I DON'T WANT THIS HAPPENEING TO YOU. GOD! LIKE I COULDN'T TRUST ENOUGH. YOU ARE JUST A COMPLETE WASTE OF MY TIME JEREMY. AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT!!!" Hannah stopped suddenly and leaned against the wall with her head tilted up toward the ceiling.
hannah just sighed. This was horrible and she couldn't take that away. She couldn't do a single thing about that. Nothing in her life has happened right after Tristan had died. She just slumped down on the ground. Hard. And burried her head in her knees and just bawled. She wanted to show Jeremy what she felt.
After sobbing for a little bit she stood up. "But listen to this Jeremy. You most likely had more then one drink. If you had any self control you would've known that you could get drunk. Not just go 'oh look at the pretty little drink' and take 4 glasses of it. So don't swing that shit around me!"
Hannah about collapsed at his comment about Tristan. "Oh that is total Bullshit! It wasn't my fault. You were the one who stayed there with me. Why couldn't you just be like any other guy and leave me there to cry my eyes out? huh? You can't blame me for any of this shit! She kept yelling and wasn't even aware of it until she heard lighting that was just as loud as her screams which made her yelled and screaming even louder.
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Post by jeremy dale gallo on Nov 8, 2009 17:32:39 GMT -5
Jeremy felt a sudden slap across the face. The world went numb after that. He just stared at her. Stricken. She slapped him..she slapped him. It hurt too. It hurt like hell. It just was so painful. It wasn't that painful physical, but emotional. He made her so mad that she had to slap him He stared at her. His eyes just wide. It brought back memories. Which for Jeremy wasn't very good. He was a sensitive boy. A very sensitive boy. He didn't recover that fast from the death because he was just so sensitive. Looking at her he just stood there. Not saying anything.
Than she started to scream. The thunder in the back and lightning really added the affect. Than what she yelled made his legs shake. He was wasting her time. He was a waste of her time. Tears started to fall. God, he looked like a complete wimp, but he didn't even care anymore. She should know that she hurt him. Looking at the ground he just let her yell. He just kept letting her yell and he stared at the ground. Fading off. Fading off into memory. This sort of reminded him of his dad. Out of habit he pulled up his own shirt a little and ran his hand over the scar on the front of his stomach and didn't say anything. He did that for a few more seconds than looked up at her.
"Alright, if I am a complete waste of your time I understand. You don't need me. You don't need me at all. Than fine. Don't talk to me. Don't bother talking to me anymore. IF I AM A WASTE OF YOUR TIME THAN I GUESS THIS MEANS WE ARE DONE! IF I MEAN NOTHING THAN YOU CAN JUST TAKE THIS." Reaching in his pocket he pulled out a necklace he planned on giving to her next time he saw her. Holding in up it had a small red gem on it with a sort of claw holding onto it. In it was a well-crafted gem. Tears streaming he threw it to where she was standing. His heart hurt. A lot. He than said "IF YOU WERE SO MUCH HAPPIER WITH TRISTAN THAN WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO IN HELL WITH HIM!"
He soon regretted what he just say. He couldn't take it back. His eyes wide he watched her sob. He just took several steps back and stood there. Watching her sob. He heard a car ride by. Blasting music. He had no idea why he noticed that, but he did. He wanted to burst out sobbing also. He did. Putting his face in his hands he started to sob. Low hearted sobs and he just had to do something. Turning around he punched the wall and screamed. Loudly.
Turning to her she said something else. Walking close to her he looked like he would hit her, but he didn't. Glaring he said "I was stressed. Alright? I was really stressed. You don't think about things when you are stressed. I am brand new to this gay town and alright I just want to stab someone. The first person being you Hannah." There he went again. Running his mouth. He couldn't believe he just said that. Backing up he whispered "God...."
Turning away he looked back at her and yelled "Bullshit! I am not blaming you! Who said I blamed you. Sure it sounded like I was blaming you, but I wasn't completly alright. In case you haven't noticed I am not like other guys! I cry. I fucking show my feelings. I also don't go to a girl for sex. I guratee you that most of the guys you dated only want you for sex." Glaring he yelled even louder "In case you haven't noticed we are OVER!" His fists clenched tight he turned and ran to where the door to the cabin basement was. Running town the steps his footsteps were loud and he jumped and he felt the pain in his ankles, but he didn't care. He was just so pissed, depressed, and confused. He sat down and sobbed sad and angry sobs. He hated this. He hated fighting. He groaned in frustration.
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Post by Hannah Nicole Allenburg on Nov 9, 2009 17:08:56 GMT -5
Hannah just stared at him as he yelled back at her again. She was just trying to be calm now. She didn't want to take the yelling any louder then it was already. She breathed in deep and felt a tear trickle down her face. She knew that it was going to happen sometime. The one tear that would come down her face no matter how much she tried to avoid it, it would always come and remind her that her heart was shattering ever more inside then it had been in the first place. She heard what he said about her saying that he was a waste of her time. When it was repeated she could easily pick out how that sounded horrible. She couldn't believe herself. She wiped away the single tear and then just sat down in the corner. One knee pulled up to her chest, the other laying out. She had her head once again tilted back so she could see the ceiling. This was completely horrible. And then she there was so much she could and could not do. And right now all the thoughts that went through her head was how much of can'ts.
She stood up and started pacing. She turned to him suddenly and just stared. Stared at him. Right through him. She could swear she could see the wall behind him. "So this is what it comes to? You saying I should go to hell? Well maybe I just will. Is that what you want. A shooting and a suicide on your hands and much less your conscience." This was getting pretty sad. Her trying not to fight was like a cat trying to resist cat nip. She she just told him that she was thinking about committing suicide.
She was going crazy ever second that flew by. And all she wanted was just some alone time. Time without all the yelling and screaming. A time where she could just think. No she just wanted to be with Jeremy. A sudden day dream popped into her head. Her and Jeremy sitting on the beach watching the sunset just barely able to see the sun behind the dark gray clouds. And her and Jeremy dancing as it starts to pour. That was something that instantly calmed her down. Now she knew what to do. "ok Jeremy. If you want to leave then fine. If you want to be over, then be my guest. I'm so tired of forcing people into things. It just ends up in fights and bad endings. So go, leave. If you want you don't even have to see my in your life again. It is your choice. I'm not going to be selfish this time."
Hannah was just out of her mind. First she was wanting them to stop fighting and work this out, now she was just telling him to leave? This girl was completely unaware that she was completely in love with him. The second he left would be the second she would break down and cry until she had no more water and salt inside her body to cry out. And that would be the end of it. She was just going to be strong from now on. Now she knew what she could and could not trust but she was still a little iffy on that one. She now knew that she could make herself strong enough. "Now Jeremy. You are only given a life because you are strong enough to live it. Show me that." She turned and walked outside. It had stopped raining but everything was still damp and wet. She climbed up on the roof and put in her buds, turned on her Mp3 and forgot it all, or at least she wanted to.
Soon the song "Broken" Came on by Seether with Amy Lee. Well that's just perfect [/i] She thought. Hannah soon was lost in the songs she looked up at the sky, day dreamed about her and Jeremy. But soon she just started bawling and she didn't know why. She sat up in the roof, pulled her knees up to her chest and just bawled. She guaranteed that Jeremy could hear her from inside the cabin.[/center]
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Post by jeremy dale gallo on Nov 10, 2009 7:28:17 GMT -5
He sat downstairs in the basement his head leaning against the wall while depressed tears fell from his face. This always happened to him. WHy did this happen to him all the damn time? He closed his eyes as he heard her start talking again. Wait..what did she say? She thought about committing suicide? No..No...NO!! THat couldn't happen. It couldn't. He can NOT let that happen again. He can not loose two people close to him. That would be to much. He would go crazy. He was already going crazy. He sat down on the cold basement floor and ran a hand over his lips. Just about twenty minutes ago they were kissing and being happy when he just had to go and bring up Doven. He put his face in his hands and started to cry.
Now she wanted him to leave? Assumed he never wanted to see her again as long as he lived? That was the exact opposite. He couldn't live without her. It just wasn't possible. He was the closest thing to love he had ever gotten in a long, long time. He wish it would never end. He just wanted this fight to end. Just something. He yelled, but not harshly just so he could hear her he yelled kindly "Funny thing is...I can't live without you Hannah." He groaned as he got a sudden heartburn. Funny, he was feeling that emotionaly and physically. He sighed and laid down on the ground and curled up in a ball as he heard her walk across the floor and shut the door. The storm stopped. For now. He than starting laughing when she said that he was given this life because he was strong enough to live it. Hell, she just talked about SUICIDE? This girl was being a hypocrite right now.
Shaking ihs head he laughd hysterically even faster. This meant he was really sad. Also just plain out depressed....He stopped laughing because his throat started to hurt. He looked crazy right now. He really did. He wished he didn't though. Standing up slowly he walked up the steps and put in his headphones. In his ears starting to play Broken by Seether
Groaning he walked up the steps really, really slowly and than reached the first floor in a matter of ten minutes. He looked up at the ceiling. His eyes were full of no emotion. Nothing. It looked like he was dead except he was very much alive. Walking slowly out as he heard Hannah cry he seemed to flinch every second she bawled. He couldn't take it. He really couldn't. Getting the strength he stood straight up his eyes still filled with nothingness he ran out of the cabin with full speed putt his arm in front so he rammd the screen door open. Running out of the cabin and outside he didn't stop running. He just kept running quicker and quicker until he ran into something or tripped. He tripped. Falling down his face was cut up in several places and he scraped both of his hands. Looking at his hands he saw it was covered in dirt and muck and he couldn't lick it off.
Sighing he stood up and limped back to the cabin as quickly as he couild. It hurt though. It really did. Looking up at the roof he just stared at Hannah. His eyes still blank. He wished he could make his eyes alive again, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. Going over to the side of the cabin he climed it slowly so it wouldn't hurt. If it did hurt than he would scream. He couldn't do anything else. On the roof he walked across slowly and than stood behind Hannah and looked at her. Kneeling down he stared at her. He didn't say anything. He just stood there for a few minutes than whispered "I am sorry. You deserve better than me." He let his head drop and he stared at the top of the roof his head held low.
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